Jordan Peterson & my 12 rules for life and 4 aggreements 7 habits of highly effective people summary
Some of this is snarfed from other sources on the net apologies for not including original references.
My rules for life I wish he knew as when younger
Keep your mouth shut never talk about what your going to do you are going to be discouraged by naysayers if it's the right thing to do just do it if not so sure ask advice from people you trust but don't get upset if you hear what you don't want to hear but begin with the end in mind owning 10000 burger factories might make you rich but doesn't impress beautiful vegan women.
Unless inviting castration never insult or offend crudely or condacendingly people have tempers and memories, especially ex bosses and classmates who will talk to others you think your finished with by drunken or mentally ill email. Burnt bridges don't mend well, the best way is the quiet way.
A polite mouth can hide a multitude of sins, keep customers happy and not whistleblow on a corporation your working for, it's a route to power as an old fashioned millionaire and women fall in love with their ears because a polite mouth doesn't alert anyone to injustice the old fashioned millionaires enemy, a wife saying to an potential american president if you give me the world I will buy lunch is doubletalk for blow the shit out of half the world and it doesn't even have a blowjob innuendo.
If you've problems keep them quiet everybody has problems spamming your problems to all your relatives just lets people know you can't deal with life and is a sign of weakness for a man.
Women can flatter and drive men mad with a touch from a michael jackson/princes grace glove and put your head back in the place where you were the first time you wanted your primary school teacher to make a man of you two weeks before she announced her engagement to another this can fuck mens head up watch out for it and don't simp or chase a beauty because of this she doesn't care she just knows ladies always smile she was told it from a child. It takes women the time to have a baby to get notions about men and are only interested when they are ovulating.
book of proverbs bible if you think my foul mouth is not what god wants 3 For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; 4 but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. 5 Her feet go down to death; her steps lead straight to the grave.
Learn where women like to be touched it's never the bum and they hate their bums and tits being started at unless even Elvis in the movies didn't do it but jiggled his lunchbox.
When women give advice it usually is to ballhop men they are shit testers and convince them they are not good enough quite often the best thing to do is do the opposite this impresses them and displays grit and frame control your not going to be beaten down as a man by a woman if a woman says she is better than you take her up on the challenge its fun rather than being offended. Ignore the consumerism bullshit in old Ginger Rodgers and Fred Astaire on YouTube and if cold calling women for interest expect them to be as explosive as Ginger and if your not as unisinkable as Fred in these romantic movies expect to go down like the Titanic you will a few times in your life.
Addiction to sex will ruin your life so as little porn and low value behavour as possible.
Drink advertising is lies for stupids Converting beer into puddle doesn't attract women.
The more money you spend in a bar, on women or in discos the less respect you get.
The men that get the most action in discos are pretty Chad and Tyrone alpha fucks not beta bucks stay out of discos they are an ambush where the bouncers at the door get the ladies as paid gigolos when the women get drunk and stupid.
Simps are men who think they can buy love and shallow flattery is the only way to get a womans interest, simps if this were true fat ugly women would buying you at strip clubs.
The best way to non simp is be physicallly impressive exercise and have purpose, well thats the best you can do if you don't have the impressive lunchbox and shoulders for the ladies. value yourself, not show too much interest in the woman checking you vet her not flatter her, be charming challenging mysterious a little distant don't give your cards away see push pull technique charisma on command YouTube joust with women never speak lowly of yourself but never lie,be a warrior, love children and want your own and be emotionally capable of looking after them, begin with the end in mind be serious about marriage but don't waste too much money on bridezilla day yet make it special, be a home builder,nerds don't have these qualities so if trying to get married don't think that learning to design an atomic bomb or making a supernova look small robbing money from bill gates with your sinclair spectrum after breaking bank enctyption schemes will do it. Women are impressed by ordinary practical homebuilding skills done impressively.
Best way to make an excellent first impression make a polite but funny joke, show interest, ask open ended questions listen more than speaking you've 2 ears one mouth, earn trust, show respect, note if respect is shown and if not and the person is condacending walk away ignore and stay walking away never again show interest unless you figure out you got very good constructive criticism to maintain power dynamic in case of another betrayal.
Jordan Peterson 12 Rules for Life
1) "Stand up straight with your shoulders back"
2) "Treat yourself like you are someone you are responsible for helping"
3) "Make friends with people who want the best for you"
4) "Compare yourself with who you were yesterday, not with who someone else is today"
5) "Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them"
To this I would add don't let them Sin, sin causes decay in morality across time, if a child needs
to be punished so be it, the bible says a whip on the back for fools, if the child can at all be reasoned
with and not sin again this is fine. Decaying morality of our future relations can cause God to send us to Hell. Fun can be had without Sin.
6) "Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world"
7) "Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient (convenient and practical although possibly improper or immoral))"
9) "Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t"
10) "Be precise in your speech"
11) "Do not bother children when they are skate-boarding"
12) "Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street"
The whimsical title of Rule 12 belies the serious issues Dr. Jordan Peterson reflects upon in his final chapter of 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos. Petting a cat unless you suffer from ailurophobia, the fear of cats, can be a soothing touchpoint amidst the inevitable suffering and unexplainable tragedies of life. Petting a dog is comforting too, though the difference between the two is remarkable. Dogs seem pretty much civilized and adapted to cohabiting with humans. Cats, on the other hand, seem merely to tolerate us and are often anti-social. If you called to a cat on the street, it is highly likely that it would just ignore you or run the other way. They socialize and are friendly on their own terms and compared to dogs, might be considered only semi-domesticated.
Dr. Peterson uses this story to illustrate how paying attention to the small items of life, a cup of good coffee, a sunrise, the fragrance of a rose, or petting an animal can help us re-center, laugh, and regroup. He admires how tough and resilient we humans are, how we cope by repairing what is in disorder, improving what we are already doing well and making it better. All these are testimonies to our abilities, even in the worst of times, to see the good in Being.
Those that lose belief in the value of Being create a personal and communal hell in which their own lives as well as those of others have no ultimate purpose. They go onto to be killers on a massive scale like Hitler, Stalin, and Mao, or on a smaller scale like so many terrorists, bombers, and shooters who range our world with their dark shadow selves replacing their unshared humanity.
Peterson’s own daughter suffered greatly from juvenile rheumatoid arthritis which started manifesting when she was only three years old. Multiple medications, hospitalizations, surgeries, and physiotherapies followed to remove many of the normalcies of childhood and adolescence. He and his wife might have spiraled into despair, blaming the unjustness of Being or God, and entered into their own version of Hades. Instead, they brought spirit, hope, and positive parenting into the situation and despite their own tremendous grief at having to see their child suffer, strengthened their marriage and family through the ordeals.
Families can and ought play that role. I shared the following quote from 12 Rules after we had attended the funeral of a family member who died “too young.”
“We must therefore commiserate in our grief. We must come together in the face of the tragedy of existence. Our families can be the living room with the fireplace that is cozy and welcoming and warm while the storms of winter rage outside.”
So take time to pet a cat if you encounter one on the street. Notice all the good, big and small in a world wherein the roar of bad things seems so deafening at times. In choosing to do just that one brave and personal act, you improve yourself, the lives of those around you, and do your part to be an antidote to chaos.
Excellent video here.
The Four agreements
Agreement 1: Be Impeccable With Your Word
Ruiz states that while this agreement is the most important, it is the most difficult one to honor For this agreement, Ruiz first analyzes the word "impeccable". The word impeccable comes from the Latin word peccatus meaning "sin", and the "im" in the beginning of impeccable is the Latin prefix that means "without". Ruiz describes a sin to be anything that goes against oneself, and therefore being impeccable with language means to take responsibility for one's actions and remain without judgment against oneself and others In essence, this agreement focuses on the significance of speaking with integrity and carefully choosing words before saying them aloud
Agreement 2: Don't Take Anything Personally
The second agreement provides readers with a way to deal with hurtful treatment from others that they may experience in life. It advocates the importance of having a strong sense of self and not needing to rely on the opinions of others in order to be content and satisfied with their self-image. This agreement also allows readers to understand the notion that each individual has a unique worldview that alters their own perceptions, and that the actions and beliefs of a person is a projection of their own personal reality Ruiz believes that anger, jealousy, envy, and even sadness can lessen or dissipate once an individual stops taking things personally.
Agreement 3: Don't Make Assumptions
The third agreement describes the issue of making assumptions, how it leads to suffering, and why individuals should not partake in making them. When one assumes what others are thinking, it can create stress and interpersonal conflict because the person believes their assumption is a representation of the truth. Ruiz believes that a solution to overcoming the act of making an assumption is to ask questions and ensure that the communication is clear between the persons involved. Individuals can avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama by not making assumptions
Agreement 4: Always Do Your Best
The fourth agreement allows readers to have better insight on achieving progress towards their goals in life. This agreement entails integrating the first three agreements into daily life and also living to one's full potential. It involves doing the best that one can individually manage, which varies from the different situations and circumstances that the individual may encounter. Ruiz believes that if one avoids self judgment and does their best in every given moment, they will be able to avoid regret. By icorporating the first three agreements and doing the best they can in all facets of life, individuals will be able to live a life free from sorrow and self-ridicule.
7 Habits of highly effective people
1 - Be proactive
Take responsibility for your reaction to your experiences, take the initiative to respond positively, and improve the situation. Recognize your Circle of Influence and Circle of Concern. Focus your responses and initiates on the center of your influence and constantly work to expand it. Don't sit and wait in a reactive mode, waiting for problems to happen (Circle of Concern) before taking action.
2 - Begin with the end in mind
Envision what you want in the future so you can work and plan towards it. Understand how people make decisions in their life. To be effective you need to act based on principles and constantly review your mission statements. Are you - right now - who you want to be? What do I have to say about myself? How do you want to be remembered? If habit 1 advises changing your life to act and be proactive, habit 2 advises that you are the programmer! Grow and stay humble.
All things are created twice. Before we act, we should act in our minds first. Before we create something, we measure twice. This is what the principle is about. Do not just act; think first: Is this how I want it to go, and are these the correct consequences?
3 - First things first
Matrix of importance vs urgency that Stephen Covey and Dwight D. Eisenhower used in deciding where to invest their efforts.
Talks about what is important and what is urgent. Priority should be given in the following order (in brackets are the corresponding actions from the Eisenhower Matrix):,
Quadrant I. Urgent and important (Do) – important deadlines and crises
Quadrant II. Not urgent but important (Plan) – long-term development
Quadrant III. Urgent but not important (Delegate) – distractions with deadlines
Quadrant IV. Not urgent and not important (Eliminate) – frivolous distractions
The order is important; after completing items in quadrant I, we should spend the majority of our time on II, but many people spend too much time in III and IV. The calls to delegate and eliminate are effective reminders of their relative priority.
If habit 2 advises that you are the programmer, habit 3 advises: write the program, become a leader! Keep personal integrity: what you say vs what you do
Interdependence
The next three habits talk about Interdependence (e.g., working with others):
4 - Think win-win
Genuine feelings for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships. Value and respect people by understanding a "win" for all is ultimately a better long-term resolution than if only one person in the situation had gotten their way. Think Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.
5 - Seek first to understand, then to be understood
Use empathetic listening to genuinely understand a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to be influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, and positive problem-solving.
Habit 5 is greatly embraced in the Greek philosophy represented by 3 words:
1) Ethos -- your personal credibility. It's the trust that you inspire, your Emotional Bank Account.
2) Pathos is the empathetic side -- it's the alignment with the emotional trust of another person's communication.
3) Logos is the logic -- the reasoning part of the presentation.
The order is important: ethos, pathos, logos -- your character, and your relationships, and then the logic of your presentation.
6 - Synergize!
Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals that no one could have done alone.
Continual improvement
The final habit is that of continuous improvement in both the personal and interpersonal spheres of influence.
7 - Sharpen the Saw; Growth
See also: Kaizen (continuous improvement)
Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle. It primarily emphasizes exercise for physical renewal, good prayer (meditation, yoga, etc.), and good reading for mental renewal. It also mentions service to society for spiritual renewal.
Covey explains the "Upward Spiral" model in the sharpening the saw section. Through our conscience, along with meaningful and consistent progress, the spiral will result in growth, change, and constant improvement. In essence, one is always attempting to integrate and master the principles outlined in The 7 Habits at progressively higher levels at each iteration. Subsequent development on any habit will render a different experience and you will learn the principles with a deeper understanding. The Upward Spiral model consists of three parts: learn, commit, do. According to Covey, one must be increasingly educating the conscience in order to grow and develop on the upward spiral. The idea of renewal by education will propel one along the path of personal freedom, security, wisdom, and power.
References and plagerism
Wikipedia
https://www.galvnews.com/article_a8fbbeaa-bc15-534a-bd32-ab4e0f29638b.html
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